Wackness Defined: Snooki
I fucking hate this bitch. I really do.
Snooki looks like a misshapen Italian sausage link. After rising to fame after being punched in the face on the train wreck popular show The Jersey Shore has been knocked up and is a mother to be. Snooki will be a mother and it makes the news, I can’t wait until she sticks her infant in a tanning bed and cooks the little fucker, now thats news.
How does somebody with zero talent become famous enough to the point where people talk about her pregnancy? Seriously, what skill or ability qualify her for being famous? That baby is sure to squirt out of that vagina cannon already drunk. Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, you take wackness to a whole new level now please just fade away into obscurity already.
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The Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Hulkamania Runs Wild, Literally
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Hulk Hogan is thee most identifiable and storied professional wrestler of all time, hands down.
My have the times changed for the Hulkster. Things were pretty good back in 2005 when he had a hit reality television show called Hogan Knows Best that highlighted his aspiring singer but lacking any talent of a daughter, his race car wannabe son and his bat shit crazy wife. Things were good for the Hulkster.
Things took a drastic turn for the worst when his idiot son Nick crashed his Toyota Supra turning his best friend into a vegetable for life. His reality television show was canceled and soon after his 48 year old wife left him and began dating a 19 year old.
Hulk did what as any celebrity does when the chips are down, turn to the bottle. Things got bad for the Hulkster and he even said he was considering killing himself. Pretty rough for the man with the 27 inch pythons.
Now, the Hulkster has a sex tape floating around on the interwebz. Apparently Hulk-a-mania runs wild all over some chicks face. Now, we haven’t seen it and I’m not sure we want to but we do have some questions.
1) Is he wearing the red and yellow get up while he is banging her out?
2) Does he rip off his shirt during the act?
3) Is he yelling “watcha gonna do brother when this cock is inside of you”
4) Does he Hulk up after blowing his load for round two?
Hogan says he doesn’t have a clue as to who might be the co-star of his sex tape as he was banging numerous broads after his wife left him. Classy Hulkster.
Once Hulk Hogan was an American icon now his story has turned into an American tragedy.
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Angelina Jolie, WTF?
What the hell happened? Where the hell did Angelina Jolie go? Can somebody get this bitch a sandwich with some extra mayo along with an order of fries all soaked in gravy?
Looking like a distant relative of my main man Skeletor and a far cry from her Tomb Raider days Angelina made her appearance recently at the Oscars looking like a strong breeze could knock her over. Was anyone else afraid that the weight of the Oscar was going to rip her arm off?
Seriously Angelina, just adopt the kids from Somalia, you don’t have to look like them too.
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Kate Upton Can Do No Wrong
I know your dying to learn how to Dougie, so let Kate Upton teach you how…
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US Airlines Taking Wackness to a New Level
This Wack report is brought to you by the inconsiderate folks at US Airways, they could care less for you and your loved ones.
I recently had a three-city trip booked with US Airways to go to Chicago, Syracuse and then to Atlanta all within a week’s time.
I did ok with the price, just under $500 bucks for all three flights, not too terribly bad.
So, here I was all ready for my trip two nights before I was scheduled to leave, I received a call from my mother that my grandfather had passed away and I needed to return home immediately. He was 91 years young, god bless his soul.
Coincidently the Syracuse part of my trip is heading home for my best friends bachelor party which was roughly a week from when I was scheduled to be in Chicago. Here lies the problem; I need to be home to Syracuse now and not a week from now.
So, I call US Airways.
Can I reschedule my flight? No.
Can I get a refund on any flights I wont be on? No.
Is there a bereavement fare? No
Can I get a voucher for future flights on US Airways? No, you bought a non-refundable ticket.
I ask, so is there ANYTHING at all you can do for me? Re-book another flight but we will charge you a $150 “rebooking” fee and then you have to pay for a new ticket. Yes, please charge me an additional $150 so I can “rebook” my ticket with you, dumbasses. If you couldn’t tell, that’s sarcasm.
I did some research online and there is a recent story of a woman who booked a dream vacation with US Airways for her family to go to Belize, the flight costs totaled $4,200 for her 5 family members. Before she could depart for her vacation she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.
US Airways denied her a refund.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/11/29/us-airways-denies-refund-for-stage-4-cancer-patient/
US Airways, I thought what you did to me was Wack but what you did to this poor family is just downright evil.
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